Thursday, December 16, 2010

but where's my disney princess??

of course my people will never really excel in this culture. which means my kids are destined for less than greatness. they are half japanese which means that they can look to mulan as a source of inspiration. and a quarter white which provides several princess options. and an eighth native american for pocahontas to air spirit whisper encouragements. but what about the remaining eighth, that fiesta-longing, orange-crate selling mexicana, lounging on a homespun hammock. without that part of their heritage able to identify with a disney princess, they will forever be incomplete and furthermore unable to truly realize their potential.

destined for less than greatness.

as any good father, i will now attempt to remedy this problem by writing a script and using minority suffrage as a means to force disney into production.

i give you now the opening scenes of MINA: THE CHIKLET PRINCESS

[start with fog, lots of fog, interspersed with mist. creeping on their bellies, ever so slowly are two shadowed figures, made even shadowy-er by their sombreros and knapsacks. the silence of the night is shattered abruptly with a gun shot and dogs barking. the larger figure stops crawling. the other head turns around. close up shot.]

mina: papa, you stopped moving.

paco: i have been hit, my little mina. it is the border police. they have found us out.

mina: papa, you must come now then.

paco: no, this is the end for me. i cannot go. but you must my little mina.

mina: no [sniffling] i cannot leave y--

paco: you must go [sternly]. you must go now. and quickly. don't let them find you. here take this. [shot to the hands. paco handing mina a small crate] these are the chicklets mina. run to southern california. sell these chicklets and buy some more and then sell those. when you have enough money buy a lawnmower and start a landscaping company.

mina: papa, no, i cannot do it.

[voices are heard coming closer. things like they're over this way, keep coming, we'll find them.]

paco: my little mina. [this might be sung] you must be strong, you must brave, don't let these border police dig you a shallow grave [etc.]

[end of scene is mina running clutching the crate of chicklets]

this is just a start but the basic outline would be that mina becomes a successful entrepreneur and falls in love with the son of the border patrolman that shot her father. the son, who is interested in politics, eventually is elected president and passes legislation to open the southern border.

4 comments:

  1. How do you think of these things? A rare treat. LOL.

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  2. You are destined for greatness!

    ~RR ... aka FruitFly - my blogger alias

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  3. guru . . . this idea came randomly at a high school camp where they were talking about disney princesses.

    fly . . . i hope so. i long to make my name great as a disney princess entrepreneur.

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  4. hahaha!! I love it! They should start production immediately! :) Its hard to believe, but I am 1/16 hispanic (it shows, I know). I think the people need this! Think of all the inspiration it will bring! :)

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